piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's never too late to be topless.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
