My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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