Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
