Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
