Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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