would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
