I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize