the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We are two peas in an std pod
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
