Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
