i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
