I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
