I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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