You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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