If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
cat food counts as protein by the way
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
