Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's always time for handjobs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
