I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
