I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
