i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
