I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
