I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
