let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
