I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
