I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
