OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
