I bet he comes in French.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
