I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
