There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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