I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We talked him into tasing himself.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
