I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
