Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
