I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
