is your mom at the bar?
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
