I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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