I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
