Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
