he thought i was a dude.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
