so explain again why im purple
no
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
