I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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