i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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