Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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