i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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