on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
