Kiss
Puke
I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
