im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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