Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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