we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
