Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
