Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
