You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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