Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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