Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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