A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
