is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
