how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
