3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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