you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize