I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
