I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
