she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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