Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
