I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
