Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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