I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
